Think of your favorite television show or movie. As much as you adore it, someone out there detests it. I mean THEY REALLY HATE IT. To illustrate my point, here are a few real life one-star reviews of popular shows.

And if your favorite books and movies have detractors, do you think you are exempt?

Your critics are probably out there. And no matter how kind you are or how much service you provide, someone is likely giving you a “poor review”.

I know for a long time, I took this sort of thing personally and would try to please everyone, go out of my way to ensure a 5 star rating, and lose myself in the process.

I think a lot of times we take things so personally and are so afraid of being criticized, we begin making our life movie the way we think the world wants to see us. When that happens, we miss out on generating a classic.

The best you can do is be yourself. Be authentic. Craft the movie YOU want to and let the critics babble. As long as you stay true, a definitive work of art will emerge and stand the test of time.

Monty Python was a wacky British comedy group. They created Monty Python’s Flying Circus back in the late 60’s. They only made forty-five episodes, but the series spawned five films, nearly a dozen books, eighteen albums, and the Broadway musical Spamalot. Their influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles’ influence on music.

Monty Python was comprised of six members: John Cleese, Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. They introduced an innovative stream-of-consciousness approach to comedy that pushed the boundaries while discarding conventional television comedy.

It might be safe to say that Monty Python even reinvented the rules and the comedy sketch itself.

Many may not know how intelligent this group was, but five of the six members attended either Cambridge or Oxford, while Terry Gilliam, born in the US, was a straight A student throughout his schooling years.

Any six of these men could have followed the norm, listened to their parents, and become the doctors, lawyers, and professors they were expected to be, but they didn’t. They went another way; they did the bold, the crazy, the stuff that brings fulfillment and joy; and they made millions laugh along the way.

Wherever you’re at right now, are you living up to the expectations? Are you doing your best to please your friends, your parents, or the voices in your head?

Maybe it’s time to do the unexpected, blaze that new trail, and reinvent yourself.

Maybe it’s time for something completely different!

There once was a man who owned a piece of land and on that land were many fruit trees.  He had cherry, plum, apricot and peach, and the man took great pride in his orchard. Then one day, as he was admiring his trees, he noticed one of them did not bear apricots or peaches, but walnuts.

The man became infuriated. He wanted the walnut tree to produce cherries and plums. It bothered him. He cursed the tree, until finally; he destroyed it for being different from the rest.

The man learned years later that the walnut doesn’t require netting, is not prone to frost, and isn’t perishable. In the end, he discovered that walnuts are very resilient, require less work, and have many benefits and uses.

Is there someone in your life that isn’t bearing the fruit you want? What if they’re nuts?

This last Saturday, after firing their head coach, the Los Angeles Lakers met with Phil Jackson to see if he would fill the position for the third time. They didn’t hire him, but a lot came up for me when I heard the news.

If you don’t know who Phil Jackson is, he has won 11 NBA championships, the most all-time – 6 with the Chicago Bulls and 5 with the Lakers. His nickname is the Zen Master because of his spiritual practices, how he manages his players, and approaches the game.

I mention this because of a recent shift in my perception regarding the famous coach. For two decades, I have disputed Jackson as a top tutor, citing he has always been the coach with the best talent. In fact, many would argue he has had some of the best players of all time; icons like Jordan, Pippen, Kobe, and Shaq.

I remember saying to a friend a few years back when the Bulls beat the Utah Jazz, “Well sure he wins…anyone would win with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen on their team. What would he do with a bunch of no names at Golden State?”

Why did I try to justify his success with a lot of what ifs and silly scenarios?

It was my jealousy of his accomplishments, an attitude to desperately fill my need to lift me up by pulling him down. Since I wasn’t fulfilling my own dreams, I didn’t want anyone else to triumph either.

How do I see Phil Jackson today? I’m still not a Lakers fan, but he is brilliant; smart enough to surround himself with the best talent in the league. He knows that his formula for success starts with really good basketball players that fit in his particular system and have a huge aspiration to win championships.

Actually, his approach and philosophy for success is what I thought I believed in years ago, but there was clearly a deeper belief behind that belief.

Now, as I have changed from within and followed my dreams, my perspective has automatically changed too. Life is just a reflection of whatever is happening within us. When we recognize that, change is possible, shift happens, and those “championships” we want?

Ours for the taking!

40 years ago this month, Martin Cooper, a Motorola project manager, conceived the idea of building the first portable cellular phone. It was a 2 pound box of wires and circuits. Here is what it looked like when it was released to the public. It was the Motorola Dyna-Tac Phone.

Dyna-Tac Specs:

• Height: 9 inches
• Width: 5 inches
• Depth: 1.175 inches
• Weight: 2.5 pounds
• A talk time of 35 minutes
• A recharge time of 10 hours
• 30 circuit boards
• Its only features were talk, listen, and dial

Of course today, we have the Samsung Galaxy III and our favorite, the iPhone 5.

iPhone 5 Specs:

• Height: 4.87 inches (123.8 mm)
• Width: 2.31 inches (58.6 mm)
• Depth: 0.30 inch (7.6 mm)
• Weight: 3.95 ounces (112 grams)
• Talk time: Up to 8 hours on 3G
• Browsing time: Up to 8 hours
• Standby time: Up to 225 hours

The evolution has been amazing. Do you think the inventor had any idea what he started?

When he made that first call in April of 1973, do you think in his mind’s eye he imagined the iPhone 5 or Galaxy III and all its capabilities?

40 years from now, what will you have built today, become a part of, or started?

There are times in our lives where we could really use the support and strength of others.

Maybe something unexpected happens. You experience a layoff, family crisis, or a hard breakup; having someone there to pitch in can make it easier.

This might come from an unexpected source, but here is wisdom about what you do when something in your life has broken down.

“I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped, but if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself – people like to see that.”  Chris Rock

Please take a moment to share this with a friend.

A. Victims get through stuff; long days, an incident, stressful work, etc.
B. Owners get something from their situations. What can I learn from this experience?

A. Victims make commitments from their feelings. I feel like I should call my friend or I don’t feel like I should work today. Victims are slaves to feelings. Your feelings are still outside of YOU.
B. Owners make decisions. I’m working out today! I’m not taking that job. Be a deliberate creator. Take ownership by declaring what you want. It’s always your choice.

A. Victims get overwhelmed and swamped. I’m too busy to be doing what I really want.
B. Owners take responsibility for how they choose to use their time. They own their schedule.

Building a Fire – (a leaders/parents guide)

On Sunday evening we had the opportunity to attend a Soul Circle at an outdoor venue. It was a beautiful fall evening nestled against the Utah Wasatch Mountains.

As the sun fell, there was a chill in the air so it was decided that we build a fire in a mobile fire pit. A teenage boy of one of the facilitators decided to collect some small twigs and paper and was charged in building and lighting it up while we began Circle.

It didn’t really work out the way the group would have liked. What resulted was some frustration and a lot of smoke mixed with a few moments of blazing heat and light. It probably didn’t help that the larger pieces of wood were moist, but it also seemed there was too much space between the logs.

So many metaphors, so little time…

Whether you are a parent, teacher, managing a business, or have a leadership role of any capacity; the following poem has wonderful application.

Fire

By Judy Brown

What makes a fire burn

is space between the logs,

a breathing space.

Too much of a good thing,

too many logs

packed in too tight

can douse the flames

almost as surely

as a pail of water would.

So building fires

requires attention

to the spaces in between,

as much as to the wood.

When we are able to build

open spaces

in the same way

we have learned

to pile on the logs,

then we can come to see how

it is fuel, and absence of the fuel

together, that make fire possible.

We only need to lay a log

lightly from time to time.

A fire

grows

simply because the space is there,

with openings

in which the flame

that knows just how it wants to burn

can find its way.

San M. Intrator and Megan Scribner, Editors, Teaching with Fire: Poetry that Sustains the Courage to Teach. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003, p,89. 

We are sometimes so caught up in the digital world, even with the opportunity; we tend to take the time to only admire the projection/screenshot of a majestic mountainside rather than the mountainside itself.

But when comparing the two options, which one truly fulfills you? Does a screensaver of leaves turning, dripping with all the brilliant color give you the same experience as the real thing?

When one takes the time, being with nature is a celebration and words simply don’t give one a satisfactory description.

So how are you showing up with others? As the projection of something that looks like you; or the real deal?

Possible origins date as far back as 77 AD. One explanation holds that the custom began as an actual blessing in hopes of fighting off the bubonic plague. The story maintains that Gregory I, Pope ordered unending prayer and parades of chanters through the streets. At the time, sneezing was thought to be an early symptom of the plague.

Another explanation suggests that people used to believe that a person’s soul could be thrown from their body when they sneezed and another legend holds that the heart stopped beating during a sneeze, and that the phrase “bless you” encouraged the heart to continue beating.

Whatever the origins, isn’t it interesting that this belief has carried on through the generations and has become something we now say automatically, simply reacting to something that has been reinforced again and again; an irrelevant belief today that has nothing to do with plagues or the loss of your soul.

What do you believe? What ideas have you bought into, the ones full of automatic reactions? For myself, I’m going to start exploring why I think it has to be cold season again